How To Tell Someone They Are In An Abusive Relationship

How To Tell Someone They Are In An Abusive Relationship – Sometimes telling someone that they can’t stay at your house is like telling them that you don’t want a present, whether it’s a birthday or Christmas present. Sometimes, it can be a very difficult decision that can make or break a great relationship. But if you are reading this article and feel that you do not want someone in your home, it is possible that you do not enjoy being with that person very much or to a great extent. Maybe you are afraid to be in your real place for a long time outside of lunch or dinner. But being sociable animals, we don’t want to offend people or tell them how we feel when we sleep in our house. So we suffer in silence instead of hurting them.

In this article, we show you that you don’t have to suffer in silence or say yes if you say no. There is a way to tell someone they can’t stay at your house and make it nice. So how can they not live in your house?

How To Tell Someone They Are In An Abusive Relationship

Your home is your safe place. This is where you can enjoy your privacy and total privacy. There are times when you don’t want other people (except maybe a lover) in your place. If someone outside of your group asks you to stay at your house at a time like this, don’t feel bad about saying no. If we live our lives as people pleasers all the time, we will be miserable all our lives. It is not for you to raise children and fix the houses of the people who choose to come to your town; It’s up to them to do it. You don’t have to apologize or feel bad for refusing to turn your home into a hotel room or Airbnb because of their time and privilege. As John Wayne said in the 1949 classic, “He Had a Yellow Ribbon”, “Don’t apologize, man, it’s a sign of weakness”.

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Think about it – the person you are bowing to will not stop for a second to express his feelings. Why can’t you be the same? For example, think of a family member (or friend) who you consider to be worthless. You will understand that people don’t approach you because of their bad reputation. Similarly, if you always say yes to the person living in your house, if you say no, it will be used against you. But by putting your foot down and saying no firmly and gracefully when you need to, people will know that your place and your kindness are not to be taken for granted.

Obviously, the way you treat family members is not the same for close friends as it is for best friends. And even when you reach this group of people, the path you take is not the same because each group still has different levels of closeness.

So it is important to ask yourself which category this person is under because the method and method of each category of person is slightly different. Let’s take a look at how each group interacts:

Saying no to your family members is not easy. Because there is an unwritten law of civilization and expectation that we should always say yes to our relatives. Mario Puzo, author of the famous book (and subsequent movie), The Godfather said this about saying no to loved ones (in the case of this book, that means mostly family members) –

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“You can’t say no to the people you love, most of the time. That’s the secret. And when you do, it should sound like yes. Otherwise you have to say no. You have to take time and effort.”

So trust us, we fully understand your problem when it comes to rejecting your family members. Saying no to a member of our family is considered self-sacrifice. But you don’t have to say yes to family guests if you don’t want them to stay. However, this should be done wisely. As Mario Puzzo says, it takes time and thinking. So what is the best way to stay in touch with relatives?

1. Tell them in advance that they cannot be with you. This is a good way to lie because most of the time lies have a way of getting out. And when you are caught in a lie in such situations with family, it is always unforgivable. And as much as you want to keep your privacy, you don’t want to burn important family bridges because you never know who might want them tomorrow. Your relatives will accept that you tell them the truth instead of lying to them that you will not be able to visit them at that time.

Remember what we said about standing up for yourself, if you don’t have the courage to admit that it’s not okay to be alone, you’ll always be afraid to admit it and hate it. It is better to be brave and be honest that you cannot handle them at that time. It is also helping to grow in the area.

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2. When you tell them that you cannot accommodate them at that time, be gentle and kind. This is especially important for members of your nuclear family, such as your parents, siblings, nieces and nephews (and possibly first-generation cousins). You know them better than anyone and you know the trigger words that don’t sit well with them. Avoid using these words and use tact and gentleness when breaking them. They are after your loved ones.

If the family member in question is a distant relative and not an extended family; Unwanted family guest; You don’t have to do much more than politely decline to welcome them. Usually such relatives are not the good ones who brought them fame in the first place. And such relatives know that they have such a history and look for a distant relative who provides easy access. Don’t be such a target. So just tell them, “Uncle (Aunt) my house is not available to you, but we can get coffee or brunch whenever you’re in town.”

3. Give them reason(s) why you cannot have them in your home at that time. Unlike others who are not members of your family, you cannot escape easily without your family members being involved. This is also important for your family members. Let’s imagine that your mother or father wants to come, just saying “mother (father) you can’t be with me at this time” is inappropriate and understandable. And leave it at that. Put yourself in their shoes and ask if you would feel rejected or loved by such a harsh response, and you probably would.

If they gave you advance notice, say a month’s notice, and it’s an anniversary or a holiday or something that conflicts with other plans, kindly let them know that you have other plans for that time and you can’t. to. Make them live with you. Tell them what the plans are so they know you don’t have to make excuses for not being at your house.

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4. Offer to help them find another place to stay when they are in town. Since they may need more accommodation, Airbnb or other types of assisted living are often preferred. If you can, consider doing something to help them pay for other accommodations. This shows them that you are really worried that they can’t be with you. This will greatly reduce any feelings (small or large) of anger they may have over your rejection. Realize that this does not mean that you are responsible for their feelings or the choice to accept your rejection, but doing the right thing is important because of the uncertainty of life. As we mentioned before, you may still need them to provide you or your family with a place to stay tomorrow.

5. They took time to visit you, especially if they are your family. It will be double

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